Total Hysterectomy, 5 Years Later
5 years ago today, I underwent a total hysterectomy at 21 years old.
I’m not sure I can convey the full scope of impact this event has had in shaping my outlook over the years. Grief and joy, so closely and complexly intertwined.
Back in 2020, I promised myself not to forget any of the pain I experienced in the years surrounding this chapter. I’ve found that by keeping the hurt close, I move with greater strength and purpose today.
Those years of chronic pain, continual complications, fighting to be heard and believed, requiring surgery after surgery, have led to a beautiful life now. A life where I have the strength to advocate for myself without hesitation. A life where my yoga teaching is largely influenced by my desire to help others reestablish a relationship between body and mind, something so easily lost in the midst of ongoing trauma and pain. A life where I can move freely and daily through long walks, running, hiking, yoga asanas, and weight training—all things I was previously kept from doing by my body.
My God is good, and I’m incredibly thankful to witness what can be accomplished in just 5 years as a result of moving forward with faith. My loss will remain, but my questions don’t weigh as heavily anymore. Today, I celebrate my ongoing healing, my ongoing hope, and the many steady hands that’ve held me along the way.
“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.”
